Do you tell your kids the entire truth about everything?
A new study shows that if your kids are 7 and up, it can be helpful to let them know that the ghosts, monsters, and dragons they see on TV or in the movies aren’t actually real….
But that if your kids are under the age of 7, it’s not preferred because even though kids around the age of 4 know the difference between real-life and fantasy, they can’t be rationally talked out of their fear.
According to the study, 4 year olds would much rather be told that the “monster under the bed” is actually friendly or that it wants to play with them.
They found that this approach is more effective than a parent telling the child, “There’s no such thing as monsters and there’s not one under the bed.”
So in the heat of the moment, the experts suggest to play along with your child and treat the scary monster as a “friendly” monster. Then later, when your child has calmed down, you can talk about how monsters aren’t real.
But because young kids don’t have the ability to convince themselves of things based on logical facts, it’s not helpful to say, “It’s not real” in the heat of the moment when they’re afraid.
If the scary images are on TV or in a movie, you can talk with your kids about how those images are made.
Thinking about the process of making a film can help children cope with scary images, experts say.
Kids are fascinated by the details of special effects — for example, how fake blood is released from a bag at the same time that a gunshot is heard, said Roberts, who has run The Mommy Blog since 2002.
More Parenting Advice: How do you deal with the fears your kids have had about monsters under the bed or scary things they’ve seen on TV or in movies?
Ghosts, Monsters, Dragons – What To Tell Your Kids [CNN]
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I dont know about that… I’ve told my children the truth about all things in general from the beginning. I find that it makes them trust me more and gives them a confidence that can’t be found in the unknown.
@kelly Thanks for sharing that. The findings from that study can bring up some interesting things to think about. I love hearing that by being honest with your kids about what’s what that they can trust you more and feel more confident. It always comes down to what works best for your particular kids. Glad you found something that worked so well.
I agree with Kelly. It is never OK to be dishonest with your kids. It is true that children are often unable to distinguish between reality and fiction but it is not because they are incapable, it’s because they are not familiar with this universe. If someone dropped you on some planet where reality and all of the physical laws were radically different then I suspect you would be pretty gullible yourself! It is your job to teach your children to be honest in all cases while showing them the line between reality and fiction. Of course a four year old would rather hear that the monster under the bed is a friendly one; he may also rather hear that he can eat ice cream for breakfast and play outside with no sun screen. There will always be a “latest study” with revolutionary findings but it is incredibly foolish to believe that each one is an indisputable truth.