Comments on: NOT A Solution To Over-Parenting http://justparentingadvice.com/not-a-solution-to-over-parenting/ Smart parents get help here. Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:07:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Wendy - Suburban Philly Teen Issues Examiner http://justparentingadvice.com/not-a-solution-to-over-parenting/comment-page-1/#comment-398 Wendy - Suburban Philly Teen Issues Examiner Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:03:12 +0000 http://justparentingadvice.com/?p=1538#comment-398 I've seen kids end up helpless because of overparenting. Because parents (and grandparents) do too much for kids, all of the sudden the kid is completely incapable of tying his own shoes, wiping his butt, picking out clothes, getting a bowl of cereal ... I could go on and on. Unfortunately I feel as if these overparents believe it is child abuse to let kids suffer. I'm not talking about torturing kids or abusing kids, but letting them suffer through the frustration it takes to tie a shoe; suffering through the frustration of being scared they're going to burn themselves on the toaster, maybe getting a little burn, then figuring out how to get the toast out so they don't burn themselves. Their view is it is abusive - at least that's what I've heard from some of these overparents. It's so much easier on Mom or Dad or Grandma to just do it for them. But that's not what's best for the kid. By taking the view that it is abuse to let kids suffer and deal with frustration, parents are creating kids who are and always will be dependent on them. They are also creating kids who will continue to believe that the world owes them - that whenever they feel frustration, they are owed someone swooping in and taking care of it for them. Overparents are raising a bunch of narcissistic kids. This is a crime, and honestly, THIS is what is abusive. So sad that overparenting parents have turned this around in their minds to make it the complete opposite. Thank you for your fantastic article. I will use this as a reference in the future. For my thoughts on narcissism in kids, please have a look: http://bit.ly/8FlcRq (I hope this short-link works) I’ve seen kids end up helpless because of overparenting. Because parents (and grandparents) do too much for kids, all of the sudden the kid is completely incapable of tying his own shoes, wiping his butt, picking out clothes, getting a bowl of cereal … I could go on and on. Unfortunately I feel as if these overparents believe it is child abuse to let kids suffer. I’m not talking about torturing kids or abusing kids, but letting them suffer through the frustration it takes to tie a shoe; suffering through the frustration of being scared they’re going to burn themselves on the toaster, maybe getting a little burn, then figuring out how to get the toast out so they don’t burn themselves. Their view is it is abusive – at least that’s what I’ve heard from some of these overparents. It’s so much easier on Mom or Dad or Grandma to just do it for them. But that’s not what’s best for the kid.

By taking the view that it is abuse to let kids suffer and deal with frustration, parents are creating kids who are and always will be dependent on them. They are also creating kids who will continue to believe that the world owes them – that whenever they feel frustration, they are owed someone swooping in and taking care of it for them. Overparents are raising a bunch of narcissistic kids. This is a crime, and honestly, THIS is what is abusive. So sad that overparenting parents have turned this around in their minds to make it the complete opposite.

Thank you for your fantastic article. I will use this as a reference in the future.

For my thoughts on narcissism in kids, please have a look: http://bit.ly/8FlcRq (I hope this short-link works)

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