Parent Alienation: What It Is & What To Do About It If You’re Divorced

by Hong Kong Tran

Parents who are separated are learning to compromise and maintain balance for their kids.

Parents who are separated are learning to compromise and maintain balance for their kids.

Parental alienation.

You may not know what it means, but if you’ve been divorced, you may have been guilty of it…maybe intentionally, maybe unintentionally.

Parental alienation is also referred to as “alienation on the child.” However you want to call it, children are the ones most affected.

It’s when parent #1 tries to alienate their child from parent #2 (the target parent). Parent #1 will try to make their child develop a hatred for the target parent, by doing any means necessary. This includes lying, denying access to the target parent, and even abduction.

No matter how parent #1 decides on going about alienating their child from parent #2, one thing is always true: the children’s best interests are always neglected. These parents put their own feelings before the good of the children.

Parental alienation doesn’t have to occur during a divorce – which is why there are some parents who are unintentionally guilty of doing this.

Here are 5 warning signs to alert you that the child is being alienated and tips on how to prevent parental alienation…

Your child may be involved in an alienating situation when you notice:

  1. Lowered performance in school
  2. Acting out behavior
  3. Loss of interest in former activities
  4. Loss of sleep
  5. Illnesses that arise with no physical cause

What to do in this situation before and after the divorce:

  1. Don’t talk about adult things when your children are around
  2. Learn to develop a business-like relationship with the other parent
  3. Don’t be selfish. Make decisions that put the children’s best interest first!
  4. Reinforce the fact that it’s not your children’s fault.

Are you a child who has been a victim of parental alienation? What happened? Have you been a target parent, and how did you deal with it?

Children Torn By Divorce [Vernon Morning Star]

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

mike jeffries December 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Thank you for this good overview of parental alienation. I especially like how you kept the language gender neuteral.

For more resources on parental alienation, including the book, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, please feel free to check out our website at http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com. I’m confident you will find the information valuable.

Sincerely,

mike jeffries
Author, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation

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